I’m Fine

Something I’ve been working on personal growth-wise is being transparent with myself when things bother me instead of telling myself they don’t. Being honest with myself when I’m feeling hurt instead of telling myself I’m fine.

A huge part of that stems from being bullied and having that “stiff upper lip” mentality. Numbing and suppressing the hurt, so the bullies wouldn’t see that they actually hurt me.

I think that’s why I tend to default to, it doesn’t bother me, I’m fine. And not giving myself the space to be not fine. I’ve been getting a lot better at catching myself doing this, though, and asking myself, are you fine, because I feel like this is actually bothering you.

I’ve also been having to learn what to do when I admit to myself I’m not fine. How do I best support myself when I’m feeling hurt?

That can be different depending on the situation. Sometimes I need to go internal and journal or just sit with myself and allow myself to feel the feelings.

For a long time I was the type of person to deal with my stuff alone, as not to burden my friends or bring them down.

I’ve been working on reaching out more, though, and allowing myself to be supported instead of always being the one who supports others.

It’s honestly been a very healing process, learning to be self-honest and also how to best support myself in the moment. It’s helping me to develop self-trust.

I don’t always get it right. There are times when I revert back to the “I’m fine” mentality. But these days, more often than not, I stop myself and remember to ask, are you actually fine?