Beginning a New Chapter

I’m just too weird.

Nobody likes me. 

I’ll always end up alone.

I’m afraid to be my true self.

If I show people the real me, they won’t like me and will leave me.

These are all fears I’ve had my whole life. Until these past few years, when I decided to start putting myself out there and having courage over fear. I’m still afraid, but I’m also experiencing the rewards for facing those fears. 

I’ve been showing up as the real me. And I’ve actually been finding the opposite of my fears. It’s brought people closer to me. I’ve attracted love, acceptance, and connection through having the courage to be vulnerable and real. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and it’s getting better and better the more I open to it. 

I love unicorns! I have unicorn stuffies, dresses and shirts, unicorn decor around my apartment, and even a unicorn backpack. At first I felt unsure/embarrassed showing this part of myself because unicorns are “supposed” to be for little girls. 

A cool thing happened when I started wearing my unicorn backpack to my local coffee shop. I met an amazing new friend, who – loves unicorns too!! If I hadn’t shown that part of me, we might not have bonded over our love of unicorns. 

I’ve learned that part of the lesson was to learn to be discerning about who to show yourself to, though. Had I worn the unicorn backpack around people who would think it was dumb and babyish, then I would have just felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself. 

So, it’s crucial to either show yourself to the right people, or just have the self love and courage to say screw it, and show yourself to the world unapologetically. 

It definitely is a process to get to that point, though, so it’s important to be loving and patient with yourself. It took me a while to have the confidence to wear the unicorn backpack and dresses in public. But now I totally rock the unicorn and rainbow attire. I assure you, there ARE people out there who will get you. 

I still have those background fears of rejection, scarcity, and abandonment. But they don’t have to be my story anymore. They are a part of my book. But, it’s time to close that chapter. 

I’m ready to open a new chapter. A chapter full of love, abundance, joy, and connection. A chapter where my heart is open and my mind optimistic. A chapter with amazing people by my side. 

I decided my word for 2022 was going to be “colorful”. Here’s to a chapter of me continuing to be my beautifully fabulous COLORFUL sparkly rainbow unicorn self!